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sometimes we can only guess why he never called back...
Dear _______,
I have not contacted you because I have died. I was going to contact you a couple of days after we spoke to set up our date. Then when I was mowing the lawn I keeled over and had a massive heart attack right in my yard. My dog licked my face and howled, but nothing happened. My neighbors found me a couple of days later. God allowed me to write this letter so that I can make peace with you since he saw how much you cared for me. He is sending me back to Hell after I am done with this letter. Let me tell you, Hell is not a pleasant place either. I thought I was a nice enough person in life that I would have made it to Heaven. Sorry that you are finding this out now and sorry for your troubles.
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Dear ______,
I haven’t called you because I have been on a secret mission for the last six months. They phoned me and told me to pack my bags in two hours. I had to get my dog to a safe home and take care of my bills. I would have called you, but two hours was not enough time. I wasn’t even sure of where they are shipping me off too and I had no idea how long I would be there. I was in Siberia. The six months turned into sixteen years and I am absolutely miserable. I am miserable because I could have had a happy life with you. Instead I was in a place that was close to Hell. I thought I would apologize to you because you are a wonderful woman.
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